Presenting The Official 2013 New York Rangers Fanbase Advisory System
For those of you that are not aware of what is in fact a very grave situation, the New York Rangers have started the season somewhat underwhelmingly with only one win in its first four games. An inherently cynical fanbase has started to grow concerned. After all, it's not like the Rangers started off slow last season as well only to find their game and finish on top of the Eastern Conference and then make it all the way to the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since 1997. The pandemonium certainly is not premature.
Given the current state the team and fanbase finds itself in, we here at the New York Rangers Blog find it imperitive to make sure everybody is informed and on the same page. Unsure of how much you're supposed to panic and what to expect in given situations? Not sure how to prepare? Lucky for you, we have been in discussions with the US Department of Homeland Security for the last few days and together we have collaborated on an easy, convenient chart for you to follow. We hope that this carefully constructed chart will help you be secure, informed, and conversant during the turbulent times you will experience over the course of the season. Continue reading to view the chart.
(Click to Enlarge)
We'll try to keep you updated on the Blog as frequently as possible so you can know the current level as well as potential details to look out for. We again would like to thank Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano for dilligently working with us late into the night this past week so we could get this done before it was too late to protect the fanbase. Remember to keep your 1994 Stanley Cup memorabilia close to you at all times. Stay safe, everyone.
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You've left out the cup hysteria that is going to hit when the Rangers are at a mere 7-5-2 record.
This is too funny...I love this blog!
But if the Rangers continue to lose, my family may put me on suicide watch!
Adam, I have so much love in my heart for you right now. I once posted a Sarcasm Level Alert system like this at my desk. My coworkers were appreciative... all except for the HR manager. Something about "inappropriateness" blah blah blah...
Does it automatically rise to Orange if the trade deadline approaches and the Rangers are not in 1st place? Excellent job!
