Devils 2, Rangers 1, 2OT (Faux Preseason Game 1)

Written by Kevin DeLury on .

In an effort to lighten the mood during the lockout, The New York Rangers Blog will be writing faux recaps of every Rangers game missed due to the work stoppage. Enjoy.

Albany, NY - In a minor act of revenge, Devils 2012 first round pick Stefan Matteau, son of Rangers 1994 hero Stephane Matteau, scored the game winner 4:21 into the second overtime (yes, I know there's not two overtimes in preseason, but this is a faux recap and I can do whatever I want) on a wrap around attempt from behind the net to give New Jersey the 2-1 overtime win over the cross river rival New York Rangers in each teams' first preseason game at the Times Union Center in Albany.

Matteau swooped in to intercept the pass behind the net, swept the puck in front to score the goal against Rangers goaltending prospect Scott Stacjer (28 saves) as Devils television analyist Chico Resch could be heard screaming "Matteau, Matteau, Matteau" from the press box.

"It may not be Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals but it gave me a lot of closure tonight," said Martin Brodeur, who made 15 saves in one and a half periods of action. One for each donut he ate on the bench during the final 30 minutes of action.

In another nostalgic moment, Rangers head coach John Tortorella began the game with a line of Aaron Asham, Stu Bickel and Mike Rupp, which was quickly responded to by Devils head coach Pete DeBoer, who sent out David Clarkson, Ryan Carter and Cam Janssen.

And as was the case six months earlier, a nasty line brawl ensued resulting in the three Rangers players pounding their Devils combatant into submission. While the two head coaches had to be physically restrained by the assistant coaches and players on the bench.

"I wanted to send a message right away that we weren't happy with the way last season ended," Tortorella exclaimed. "Plus I heard DeBoer and the Devils players aren't dog lovers and they must pay for that injustice."

Once the actual hockey game began, the man brought in to jump start the Rangers offense went to work. Playing on his first shift as a Blueshirt, Rick Nash converted a sweet pass from behind the net from linemate Brad Richards. The goal was setup by the speed of Carl Hagelin, as he was able to negate an icing moments before the Nash tally.

"It's finally great to be on a team with NHL talent," Nash explained. "I should have demanded a trade years ago."

A NHL record was broken during the game as Michael Del Zotto, who was recently forced to sign a miniscule two-year, $500,000 contract due to the new CBA, shot the puck wide 27 times shattering his old mark of 25 set last season.

Meanwhile, Dan Girardi and Ryan McDonagh combined for 100 minutes of ice time as Tortorella didn't feel confident using Stu Bickel in such a close game.

Henrik Lundqvist was a late scratch as his nanny canceled last minute and because his wife was out of town he needed to watch his baby daughter.

On the Devils side, Ilya Kovalchuk went pointless as the Rangers rendered him powerless by putting on Sean Avery masks every time he was on the ice.

"I don't care if it wasn't actually Avery, something about him just gets me off my game," Kovalchuk noted. "Remember that playoff game when I was with Atlanta?

"It's a good thing Avery wasn't on the Rangers during the post season last year, because they would have totally beat us."

The remainder of the Devils line-up was filled with players from their AHL affiliate in Albany. Wait, that's their NHL roster? Hahahahaha!

Rangers fans also caught a glimpse of their future as a line of Chris Kreider, JT Miller and Christian Thomas flew up and down the ice all night long.

"We ain't no Hugh Jessiman, Pavel Brendl and Jamie Lundmark. We're the real deal," said a jubilant Kreider after the game.

The Rangers next preseason game is scheduled for Friday night also against the Devils in Newark.

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90 comments
flyindrumr
flyindrumr

I thought it would be just fake hockey talk, so much that I didn't read it 'til today (9/30) after seeing some of game 2's comments, that is really funny, good job, don't stop, serious lol. 

ChrisWasselTHW
ChrisWasselTHW

@TheNYRBlog Let me have some fun with this......please?

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@ChrisWasselTHW Go for it.

ChrisWasselTHW
ChrisWasselTHW

@TheNYRBlog I will contract this one out....like the idea immensely.

ChrisWasselTHW
ChrisWasselTHW

@TheNYRBlog Cool. Wanted to get some of the other Bloguin hockey people involved. Tough so far no question.

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@ChrisWasselTHW Right now, TheNYRBlog staff are ready 2 do 1 for every Rangers game missed due 2 lockout. If we need help I'll let u know.

ChrisWasselTHW
ChrisWasselTHW

@TheNYRBlog Thinking of the next step....maybe Faux Season.....

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@ChrisWasselTHW Wait second, what are you talking about doing?

cb1
cb1

i originally thought the "faux recap" idea was dumb, but this is fuggin hysterical!!

KevinDeLury
KevinDeLury moderator

 @cb1 That's what you get for doubting me. lol

ShreddyMercury
ShreddyMercury

@TheNYRBlog please tell me you'll let guest writers do some faux recaps. I guarantee I will make people pee themselves with laughter

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@ShreddyMercury I'm thinking about it.

ScottyHockey
ScottyHockey

@TheNYRBlog @ShreddyMercury You know someone would do a recap with a Del Zaster hattie, just to piss me off...

Dimey44
Dimey44

@ScottyHockey @TheNYRBlog Someone needs to come up with plan on how the NHL lockout somehow negatively impacts the NFL. Worked for refs.

ScottyHockey
ScottyHockey

@TheNYRBlog @ShreddyMercury Of course. Bastards.

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@ScottyHockey @ShreddyMercury Actually the storyline we came up with was to have him win the Norris Trophy. lol

kevinbaumer
kevinbaumer

@thenyrblog how many people have been confused and asked if that post is real or if you're delirious?

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@kevinbaumer Ha! Amazingly enough no one. Couple of people asking me to stop b/c it depresses them. Got to laugh to keep from crying.

Daniforms
Daniforms

@TheNYRBlog that was great!! Too bad we lost though! LOL

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@Daniforms I think they'll come back strong tomorrow night. Just a hunch I have. lol

Daniforms
Daniforms

@TheNYRBlog haha I hope so :-)

H Roberts Mullan
H Roberts Mullan

Kevin, this is awesome! Can't wait to "see" what happens in Game 2! Any chance there will be a last minute add of Avery to the roster (since all we have is faux/fantasy) this year? Fantabulous job!

kwein23
kwein23

@TheNYRBlog Love this Kevin just what I needed this morning. LOL Tort comments 'heard theyre not dog lovers' #nhllockoutrelief

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@kwein23 Got to laugh to keep from crying. Glad you enjoyed it.

anchorarmsSR
anchorarmsSR

@TheNYRBlog the rangers never lose :<

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@anchorarmsSR Ha! I've got to make these things at least a little realistic.

anchorarmsSR
anchorarmsSR

@TheNYRBlog hahaha true I can understand the double OT loss then

MimiP1027
MimiP1027

@TheNYRBlog that was the most heartbreaking faux Pre-season loss ever. #funnystuff

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@MimiP1027 Hopefully they recover in time for tomorrow night's rematch in Newark. lol

MimiP1027
MimiP1027

@TheNYRBlog As long as Hank's nanny shows up, they should be fine. :)

MimiP1027
MimiP1027

@TheNYRBlog ha! That or there'll be new meaning to the term "healthy scratch". #thelundqvistsneedababysitter

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@MimiP1027 Could you image if that really happened. I think Sather would go over his house & babysit for him. lol

Tim Moulton
Tim Moulton

Matteau, Matteau, Matteau............lmao........

ForEachNYR
ForEachNYR

"I wanted to send a message right away that we weren't happy with the way last season ended," hahaha :D this is great stuff!

chrishem7
chrishem7

@TheNYRBlog between nhl13, nhlnetwork, faux reports. Its going to be a long cold winter.

jbs319
jbs319

@TheNYRBlog hey, it was only preseason

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@jbs319 I think the team learned a lot tonight.

NYR25203
NYR25203

@TheNYRBlog Seriously? We "lost?"

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@NYR25203 We'll get them on Friday night.

NYR25203
NYR25203

@TheNYRBlog I sure hope so! :) #LetsGoFakeRangers

Mike_Randazzo34
Mike_Randazzo34

@TheNYRBlog how was the power play?

TheNYRBlog
TheNYRBlog

@Mike_Randazzo34 Didn't get any opportunities tonight. Refs let them play.

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