Sabres 7, Rangers 4 (Faux Game 4)
In an effort to lighten the mood during the lockout, The New York Rangers Blog will be writing faux recaps for every Rangers game missed due to the work stoppage. Enjoy.
Buffalo, NY - What was supposed to be a chemistry building outing, ended up costing the Rangers the game tonight as they fell to the Buffalo Sabres 7-4 at the First Niagara Center.
Before the contest, John Tortorella had the entire team gather at the famous buffalo wing restaurant Anchor Bar for a pre-game meal.
"I know from our experience from last year, extended road trips are great for team bonding. And with our eight game roadie to start the season, I was hoping to take advantage of that today," said John Tortorella. "But obviously it backfired."
What Tortorella didn't count on was the cook of the Anchor Bar being a huge Sabres fan. Sources say that head chef, Sean Monahan, served the Rangers players rotten buffalo wings that had been sitting in the back of the kitchen for a year.
What occurred next for the Rangers players can only be described as torturous.
"Have you ever seen the movie Bridemaids?," asked Chris Kreider. "Because that was pretty much the scene when we got back to the hotel."
In a showing of gamesmanship, the Sabres refused to postpone the game despite the entire Rangers team suffering from a terrible case of Buffalo's version of Montezuma's revenge.
"I've known Lindy Ruff for a longtime, but that was the most shameless display of sportsmanship I've ever witnessed," an angry Tortorella noted.
Because Mike Rupp, Anton Stralman and Marty Biron were the only Rangers players well enough get on the ice by puck drop the Buffalo Sabres were able to score seven first period goals to jump out to an insurmountable lead.
"Hey, that's what you get for not checking Zagats before picking a restaurant," said an amused Ryan Miller.
Half the Rangers players were able to come out for the second period and actually cut the Buffalo lead to 7-2 behind goals from Carl Hagelin and Dan Girardi.
The Blueshirts were at full strength by the third period, but couldn't overcome the Sabres dominating start despite scoring two third period goals by Ryan Callahan and Derek Stepan.
"I not only lost 20 pounds tonight, I also lost a lot of respect for the Sabres organization," said Henrik Ludnqvist after the game.
The Rangers are now 3-1-0 on the season.
To read previous faux recaps, click here.
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@TheNYRBlog Just caught up on all of the faux recaps; great stuff! The LA Clippers kobe quote and LAK banner on MCD's were the best!
@TheNYRBlog clearly under a rock lol I'm mad I didn't no this ether cause I usually follow him close cause we went to the same high school
@TheNYRBlog that's f'd up, we should call the Buffalo board of health and have that place shut down
@TheNYRBlog thanks! Looking forward to reading about it.. What about,"Del Zotto ran into a wall with a boner and broke his nose" lol
there's a guy named Sean Monahan that plays for the Ottawa 67's in the OHL, insane he has time to play hockey and moonlight as a cook in another country.... haha
You really are running out of ideas for these. That said, I will admit I laughed so mission accomplished :-)
